Church

So I went to church today for the first time in like almost a year I think. It felt so good and I had to hold back tears (not sure why I wanted to cry but I kept it together) for most of the service. I prayed a lot that God would help bring me back to where I was in my faith when I chose to get baptized and that he would work with me and in me to know him better. I also prayed that he would help me get Cameron into going to the children's service. I want Cameron to know God and to learn about him. So please pray for Cameron and I that we can find our way back to God.

When I got home I was talking to Brad about how it felt good to go and he almost made me bawl. He got somewhat teary and said that he didn't like being home without me and that he wishes he had had time to shave so that he could have joined me. Which if you know us you know that Brad doesn't really enjoy church and he would rather have a relationship with God through thoughts and prayers at home then going to church. But to hear him say he wanted to join me made me feel so awesome.

I am very torn though with the church I attend. Last year when I quit going to church it was because I was very saddened and hurt by someone from the church. The pastor in fact. I had reached out to the church when Brad hurt his back so bad and Ethan had just been released from his hospital stay and we were so scared that the ITP would come back. And we knew that we would be filing bankruptcy soon. So I reached out for help and prayer. And the response from the elders were phenominal and they at one point pulled me into the office and prayed for us. Which all of that was amazing and I felt so blessed. But due to some things that were said and done after that I came to feel very hurt and saddened. And since then I have just avoided church and in a way kinda lost my way. I have been feeling very lonely/empty lately especially with our current living situation and no end to it in sight and not going to church so I finally decided that while I can't change our living situation for financial situation, I can change my church situation so I went to church. And although i am not ready to confront Pastor, I am praying that God will help me to forgive and move forward with my relationship with God and the church. I did kinda sneek out of church today before anyone could talk to me but then again, no one was chasing me down to talk to anyway. LOL

But like I said at the beginning, it felt good to be back at church and i am glad I went. I hope and will continue to pray that God will help me to get back into a routine of regularly going and hopefully be able to talk Cameron in to going too. Anyway now that I have bored everyone with my babbling I am going to go spend some time with Brad and the boys before I have to go to work for a couple hours. I hope that everyone's week goes well and that God will bless each of you. And while I most likely will not be going to church next sunday since it's Brad's 30th birthday I do plan on going the following sunday.

P.S. Denaye, do you know if they are doing a women's retreat this year? I really enjoyed the one i attended and would love to go again. SO please let me know if you know anything. Thank you.