URGENT...Yet another prayer request...

My grandma is back in the hospital.  She has a cyst on her pancreas and a possible blockage in the tube that runs from the pancreas to the liver.  She has had diarrhea for 2 weeks and is just plain feeling crappy.  They sent her ct films to a dr. in seattle and that doctor reccomends doing a scope of that tube.  They don't want to do a scope until they can get her feeling better.  Also they found a mass in her abdomen and the seattle dr described it as ovarian cancer but grandma had a full hysterectomy 30yrs ago so not really sure what it is just yet.  But the dr said his main concern right now is the possible blockage but again he can't do anything until they get her feeling a little bit better.  Also she is 48hrs off of Coumadin (blood thinner) but her bleeding time is not getting better which means that her liver is not functioning correctly which may or may not be caused by the possible blockage.  Please pray for grandma's strength and her to get to feeling better quickly.  So please pray for the doctors that are taking care of her and that they are able to get her feeling better and do the tests they need to in order to find out how to help her.

My Uncle Don is feeling pretty good heart wise.  He has two stress tests coming up but not sure if he is going to be able to do them due to cost.  They are already worried about how to pay for the initial bills from the heart attack along with the very expensive medications they put him on.  So prayers that those issues work out and that they can get help with the hospital bills and medication costs.

Prayer RequestS....PLEASE!

So I feel as though my family is falling apart very rapidly and need several prayer requests...

1st prayer request:  My Uncle Don went into the er this morning around 3:30am with a heart attack.  He at one point flatlined but the doctors and nurses got him stabalized.  They took him into surgery and placed a stent.  He is currently in ICU and when he is awake he is feeling really good and his only complaint is that they are keeping him for 4 or 5 days.  :-)  So please pray for his fast recovery and that the stent has truly fixed the problem. 

2nd prayer request:  My Aunt Sherri went into the er this afternoon with severe vomitting and diarrhea.  They got her on iv's to help hydrate her and did some blood work.  The nurse was pushing and prodding around my aunts recent surgery site (hysterectomy) but found no points of pain or concern.  However when she moved up and right to the location of the appendix my aunt about jumped off the table with pain.  So they are getting ready to do a ct scan to see if her appendix if inflammed/irritated and the cause of problems.  So she may be in surgery soon for an appendectomy.  So please pray that she too has a quick and easy recovery as she is still recovering from her hysterectomy too.

3rd prayer request:  Earlier this year my Grandma had a surgery to stop her heart from going into episodes of tachycardia (very very fast heartbeat that is very ineffective at supplying the body with blood.)...the surgery was supposed to help for up to two years but on friday she went in to the hospital because of an episode that she couldn't fix with meds.  She is fine but frustrated that she had an episode so soon.  So please pray that she doesn't have another episode for a very long time. 

I am having a really hard emotional problem with all of this and really need prayers to get through it.  I found out about uncle don tonight at 7pm then about my aunt sherri at 9pm and about my grandma's visit at 9:30pm.  So in one night I find out about all of this and I just wanted to scream, cry and puke.  I know that none of them are knocking on deaths door but with my Uncle Hal passing in september and then in one weekend having not one but 3 family members in the hospital and my uncle Don having a heart attack (which by the way the coroner has listed a heart attack as the reason of my Uncle Hal's death) it has just really thrown me into an emotional whirlwind.  So please pray for my family that everyone comes through ok and with quick recoveries.  Please pray that my grandma's heart behaves correctly.  Please pray that i don't have an emotional meltdown.  Thank you.  I will keep you up to date as soon as I know something and have time to blog. :-)

Snow stress....lol

So just when i was feeling good about finances, it snows.....I know we should have already thought about snow before now but we didn't.  So here it is snowing and we have no snow boots for Cameron and he has school tomorrow and I am sure they will be outside for recess.  So Brad grabs up Cameron and they make a quick run to Walmart for snow boots for tomorrow.  Well apparently more people are like us because the gal at Walmart said that as soon as it started snowing the boot department was cleared of most inventory.  UGH!  Anyway Brad found a pair of boots on sale that Cameron says are warm and feel really good so they got them.  Unfortunately they were $31.00.  That bites!!  An unexpected cost we didn't prethink and of course soon we will have to buy Ethan a pair of boots unless we can find someone who has a pair they are willing to give away.  So if you know of any boots for free or really cheap in size 9 please let me know. 

Ok enough venting from me.  The snow is so pretty and I love how quiet everything is when it snows.  I am excited to get some snow pics of the boys...that is if we find boots for Ethan.   I am hoping we have a white christmas and then it can all melt away!  LOL  Ok well that is all i have for right now. 

I know God will provide financial provisions but i am still kinda worried.  So please pray that I can put my faith in God that he will provide what we need. 

Prayer Request

I am having a very hard internal battle. I don't want to go into details. (I know i hate when people do that but I just have to...sorry!) Please pray that God will help lead me in the right direction. I am so torn as to what to do and I actually found myself on my knees in prayer tonight almost yelling I was talking to him so loud.

I know that i can do nothing without the help of Jesus Christ but why is it so hard to put 100% faith in the signs he gives me? Why do I doubt everything? Why do I rebel and pull away so hard and yet long to be so close? What do i have to do to let down my guard and take his hand and truly walk with him? I know one answer is get back to going to church and i am trying. So please pray that I can get my head and my heart cleared and on the right track and that my internal struggle be resolved so that I can get on to a healthier life. I am so thankful for all of you who I know will read this and say a quick prayer in your head for me. I love you guys!!!!!

Little things

I went to church today and I am really glad i did. There was no sermon, heck the pastor wasn't even there but it was exactly what I needed. The service was a mix of singing and presentations from 3 local organizations, Solomon's Porch, Serve Wenatchee Valley, and Young Life. And throughout the speeches i found myself tearing up. I have been really down lately because we aren't sure we are going to be able to buy much for our kids for Christmas and we don't have a lot of food and there are things i want but can't afford (like to color my hair before the gray hairs take over...lol). But i realized that all of my worries (minus the food thing....food's kinda important...lol but we have some food which is more than some people have) were over little things. We have a home, a vehicle, our health, clothes, toiletries, running water, heat, income (even though it's unemployment, it's still income) and we have a family. There are people who have none of that. There are people who don't even know where they are going to sleep tonight and some who are sleeping on cold benches with no blankets to stay warm.

It opened my eyes today that i take so much for granted and worry about so many little things that I don't cherish the big things. Like what i do have, especially my family. So a huge thank you first to God for getting me to church this morning so my eyes could be opened and another thank you to Denaye for helping me to push myself to pray and ask God's help to get there. I am so thankful and blessed to have friends to help me out of my slump. (I'm really looking forward to a play date!)

So if you are like me and feeling down about something not going right in your life, take a moment and think about every BIG thing you have (family, health, home, etc.) and realize that you are probably feeling down about a little thing. Take a moment and thank God for the BIG things in your life, I know i did today!


On a side note, please pray that God help my friend Amanda. She just found out this week that she is pregnant with twins but a blood sack threatens the life of one of them. She is on strict bed rest which is going to be very financially hard on their family if she has to stay on bed rest. So please pray that the babies continue to survive and grow and that if she does need to stay on bed rest, that God provide financial provisions for them and help them through this stressful time.



Heavenly father i pray to you that my friends and family be surrounded by BIG things and that we all realize that there are people out there who have so much less than us. I pray that you help me to find a way to help those less fortunate than myself. I pray that you take care of Amanda and keep her safe and healthy and the babies are healthy, and that if she needs to stay on bed rest that you provide financial provisions for her family. You have been so generous with your provisions and we are so thankful. We are blessed with so much. I am so thankful that you would help me to get to church today so that my eyes could be opened. So many things in life get us down and yet you are there to remind us that you are here and that you are taking care of each and every one of us. Please forgive me for falling away from you and continue to work with me as i am an ever changing work in progress. I know i struggle with listening but i am trying and know that with your love and guidance i will continue to learn and strengthen my walk with you. Thank you for being you and for loving me and creating me to love you. In Jesus name Amen.

Prayer Request

OK so i know i don't blog much but i read everybody's at least once or twice a week. I love hearing what is going on with my friends and their families.

I need prayers though for a several things:

1: I found out on Tuesday that i have hypothyroidism and started a thyroid med on Wednesday. Please pray that it works well for me and that i start to feel better soon without side effects.

2: I just got a call today from our cable company with a threat to cancel service because i was 2 months behind....I swear i made the payment and even marked it as paid on my bill spreadsheet but I have no record of a payment and neither do they so alas I have to pay it still. So i paid last month's bill today and will pay Nov.'s bill out of the money I get for watching baby Johnny. Problem is due to the computer crash we are already dipping into that money to make ends meet so i am not sure we will have any left over for Christmas presents plus we have to make our van payment late again since Johnny's money doesn't come in till the 2ND or 3rd and rent is due on the 1st and we have to pay that on time so the van gets paid late. So if you have any money laying around that your not using...i would be happy to take it off your hands....LOL!

3: I am having a really hard time lately with money(or lack there of actually). If we could get a head a bit and get stocked up on food and gas then we could be fine but we got behind due to some new bills when we moved and we just haven't got caught up again so we are always using bill money for household stuff and having to push bills off so we are always a week behind. Food is getting pretty scarce in our house and it makes me sick. We need help and have nowhere to turn. I am stressing so bad about how we are going to make it once i stop watching Johnny. As of Dec. 21st he can go to the daycare where his brother goes so i will get one last paycheck in January and then no more. Plus in June I have to start paying on my loans again and i know i am jumping way into the future but i have to keep it in my head so i remember to start planning for it. So please pray that God continue to give us financial provisions and help us to learn to spend way less and save on what we do spend so we can get more for our money. Which leads me to my next stress.

4: Brad is still laid off. The hospital job was supposed to start in October but was running behind so we thought November and then this month when Brad called the union rep he said they still weren't calling out guys and then at the end of the conversation he told brad to have a good holiday season as if there won't be any work till after the first of the year. We really can't afford for Brad to work anywhere else. He would have to find a job that pays a minimum of $18.50/hr with really good benefits. And that wouldn't put us ahead at all that would just keep things the way they are now. And he is very adamant that he does not want me going back to work until Ethan is in school because the cost of daycare would make my take home next to nothing which is why i quit working in the first place. The union (when he is working) pays so good and their benefits are awesome and that is the only way we are going to get ahead and actually save money. So please pray for Brad to get back to work with the Union REALLY soon.

5: And last prayer request......We just found out yesterday that Brad's insurance has expired. We are very grateful that it lasted as long as it did but with my new diagnosis and having to have blood work periodically, I am worried about getting our clinic bill too high and having them increase our bill. So please pray that Brad and I stay as healthy as possible and that he again gets back to work soon so that the insurance can start up again. The boys are covered by Molina so i am not too worried about them but Brad and I are not so we really need his insurance.

OK so I think that is the last of my vents. I feel as though i am sinking in a sea of stress and have been having some serious anxiety moments and need all the prayers i can get. So please pray that i am able to emotionally get through this as I can't afford to go back on my antidepressants and seriously worry about a mental breakdown happening. Please pray that Brad gets back to work soon so we can get caught up on bills and food. Please pray that God continues to provide financial provisions so that we don't get further behind. And please pray for my health as well as Brads. Please pray that everything with my thyroid condition improves with this medication and that i don't have side effects from the medication.

P.S. For those of you who are really good at getting lots of food for next to nothing....(you know who you are ;-) Please I would love to know how to do it and how to get started.

Prayer Request

I am asking for prayer requests from all our friends. Please pray that our family stay strong and lean on each other for support. We found out this morning that my Uncle Hal was found dead in his house last night around midnight. This is a huge blow as he wasn't sick other than dealing with his diabetes. The coroner is out of town till thursday so we won't know cause of death till then which makes it even harder. So please pray for us to stay strong.

I am trying to stay strong escpecially since tomorrow is Cameron's birthday and I don't want him to have a sad day. So I am strapping on a smile and hiding away my tears until I am away from him. I know we will get through this but it hurts so tremendously bad. Your prayers and thoughts are appreciated. Thank you in advance.

Getting close and overwhelming...

The first of the month is fast approaching. We are so excited to be moving and yet the task of actually moving is so overwhelming. There is so much to do. We don't actually have a lot of packing to do but we have a ton of moving to do. Most all of our stuff is in storage so we have to move what we do have here and then empty out storage. We will still have a storage but we should be able to downsize so we will have to empty the current storage unit. Also all of our dishes and pots and pans are at the back of storage so we will have to dig back there anyway just to get the duplex functional.Ugh. It seems like such a monumental task. My husband is the best though because he plans on doing most of the loading and unloading I just have to unpack most everything. I get out of the loading and unloading because i started watching a 7mo on monday and will watch him full time till the end of the year when he can go to the daycare that his big brother attends. So it works out in my advantage...I get to make money babysitting and I get out of the hard part of the move. Yeah me! LOL

We are heading to republic tonight since this is the last weekend we will get to get out of town for awhile due to Cameron starting school. We got his paperwork on monday and his teacher is going to be Mrs. Lake. We also found out that Brad's stepsister Lisa is going to be a para pro in that class so I am curious to see how that will go. I am hoping that it won't be a distraction to Cameron or that he won't cause a distraction because of her. So we will see on that.

However, us going out of town means that we come home sunday and it's balls to the wall (sorry for the expression. LOL) to get things ready to move monday night, tuesday at 8am we do the walk through, pay first and last, and get the keys and then we can start moving in and our goal is to have it functional enough for us to stay there tuesday night. Cameron starts school wednesday but luckily him, and us go to the school on wednesday to meet one on one with his teacher and then he doesn't go a full day till friday and then will start full time after labor day so it allows lots of time getting the duplex set up before he actually starts full time.

I would like to ask for prayers that this move along with starting school all at the same time isn't too hard on Cameron and that Ethan handles brother going to school well and the move is fairly easy on him too. Oh and that the move doesn't throw baby johnny off too bad either.

Oh and please pray for safe travel to and from republic.

We may not have tv/internet right away after we move so unless I can steal a wireless signal it may be a little bit before I update again. So take care and be safe. TTFN

Praise is in order!!!!!!

Thanks be to God!!!

We got approved for the duplex. We will be getting one of the freshly remodeled ones so it will be all clean. We are super excited. We should be getting to move in by the end of the month which is nice because it gives us more time to save up money. And the duplex is in the Washington Elementary School Zone which makes me very happy because that is where we wanted Cameron to go to school so that made me very happy too. So hopefully we will find out in the next week or so exactly when we can expect the remodel to be finished so we can move in.

Also Brad's unemployment (based off of Tri-con employment) ran out this week so he opened a new claim (based of the union employment) and was approved for 26 weeks of unemployment plus at the end of that time, he will qualify for an extension which means we for sure will continue getting unemployment and that if he gets laid off again we will for sure have unemployment for up to 52+ weeks. That was a huge stress relief.

So we are very thankful tonight for everyone who prayed for us and especially God's provisions.

I admit that I strayed from my walk with Jesus after getting hurt feelings last year it has taken a long time to get back to it and I feel that a lot of the things that happened to us was God's way of trying to open my eyes to my actions and get back on track. Unfortunately it has taken quite a while but I am focused on getting back to learning to walk with Jesus and to know God and it's amazing what faith, listening, love and prayer can do. I feel so hopeful that things will continue to look up for us. I am proud of myself that as the good news came in today i immediately thanked God for his help rather than either not thanking him or thanking him but at the same time asking for more help. Today though....I simply thanked him. And you know what? It felt GOOD!!!!!

But............................as much goodness as there was today, we also got some kinda scary news and need prayers...and lots of them. So please pray for my family. I cannot give details but would appreciate your prayers that my family member who got some scary news will come through this hard time with a happy/healthy outcome. (I know it is probably annoying that i am not sharing more details but they have asked that I not tell anyone and so I am not sharing who or exactly what.)

So please say thanks to God for his provisions both in the way of shelter and income and please pray that my family member be ok. Thank you for all your support, love, encouragement, friendship, thoughts and prayers.

Nervous

So today is the day we can call and hopefully find out if our screening cleared and if we get one of the duplexes. I am very nervous. I really don't want a no. I want one of these places so bad. They are perfect for what we are looking for and how much we can afford. So please pray that when Brad calls, we get a yes. In the perfect scenario, we would not only get a yes but would get to move in in the next 2 weeks and only have to give the $400 deposit and first month's rent. That way we can use the rest of the money we have saved up to pay off the PUD so that we can get it put in our name again. Plus we might just be able to get local tel hooked up if that's the case otherwise we may have to go for a little while with no tv or internet. But look at me i am getting ahead of myself again. Right now I just need to hear a yes. SO please pray for this if it is meant to be. Thank you.

Please Pray for us....

So I am reaching the end of my limits. I am honestly not sure how much more crap I can take before I completely lose my mind. And no this isn't just a vent....I honestly feel like I am within inches of needing serious medical help. It just seems like one thing after another has happened for the last year. First brads back and ethan's illness, then the bankruptcy, then Brad's on and off again work, then having to move out of our home, give up our pets and move in with family, then move into my sisters basement.

So here we are living in my sister's basement. And don't get me wrong, I am extremely thankful for a place to live and the relationship I have with my sister but we need our own place.

We have put in an application for an apartment but not sure we will get it because of the bankruptcy. That was a huge blow for us. We didn't even think about it until the question on the application came up. So we have been talking to the company and had to submit a letter explaining why we filed. So they accepted the letter and went forward with the screening but we are still unsure of whether or not we will get the apartment. We really want the apartment. It's actually a duplex and it's two bedrooms and the rent is less than $600 so it's perfect. So please pray that this works out. I am tired of stressing about living conditions.

We need our own place so we can get a routine going. I haven't done any preschool stuff with either boy in a long time because I have been having such a hard time dealing with everything that I just don't have the energy. I want to get back to going to bed at a regular time and getting up fairly early so that I could actually spend some time each day doing preschool stuff and enjoying my kids. I want to be able to feel like I have accomplished the things I want and still having some quiet time to myself. We just really need our own space not only for the boys benefit but for my sanity.

So PLEASE pray that we get accepted for one of the duplexes.

That time of year again....

So tomorrow is one of the days I dread every year. Although it is a happy day it is also a day that fills my heart with so much pain it seams unbearable. Tomorrow is my dad's birthday. He would have been 66yrs young. =)

So if you could please take a moment and pray that he has a wonderful birthday in heaven. And pray that my family and i can find the strength to celebrate his life rather than mourn it.

I miss him so much all year long but especially on his birthday and his death anniversary. I go through all the emotions on those days. I am sad because i miss him, angry because he had to go, happy to have had him as long as I did, sad that my children didn't get to know him, excited for the day when we all get to be together.....and so on.....

Please pray for me that I can spend more time smiling tomorrow and sharing happy memories and less time crying and mourning.



In memory of a wonderful husband, son, brother, friend, grandpa and most of all the best dad in the world.

Happy Birthday Daddy.
I love you and miss you with all my heart.
Love Wienerie (once again it was a childhood nickname, don't remember how I got it, hated it growing up but would now give most anything to hear my dad call me that again.)

Church

So I went to church today for the first time in like almost a year I think. It felt so good and I had to hold back tears (not sure why I wanted to cry but I kept it together) for most of the service. I prayed a lot that God would help bring me back to where I was in my faith when I chose to get baptized and that he would work with me and in me to know him better. I also prayed that he would help me get Cameron into going to the children's service. I want Cameron to know God and to learn about him. So please pray for Cameron and I that we can find our way back to God.

When I got home I was talking to Brad about how it felt good to go and he almost made me bawl. He got somewhat teary and said that he didn't like being home without me and that he wishes he had had time to shave so that he could have joined me. Which if you know us you know that Brad doesn't really enjoy church and he would rather have a relationship with God through thoughts and prayers at home then going to church. But to hear him say he wanted to join me made me feel so awesome.

I am very torn though with the church I attend. Last year when I quit going to church it was because I was very saddened and hurt by someone from the church. The pastor in fact. I had reached out to the church when Brad hurt his back so bad and Ethan had just been released from his hospital stay and we were so scared that the ITP would come back. And we knew that we would be filing bankruptcy soon. So I reached out for help and prayer. And the response from the elders were phenominal and they at one point pulled me into the office and prayed for us. Which all of that was amazing and I felt so blessed. But due to some things that were said and done after that I came to feel very hurt and saddened. And since then I have just avoided church and in a way kinda lost my way. I have been feeling very lonely/empty lately especially with our current living situation and no end to it in sight and not going to church so I finally decided that while I can't change our living situation for financial situation, I can change my church situation so I went to church. And although i am not ready to confront Pastor, I am praying that God will help me to forgive and move forward with my relationship with God and the church. I did kinda sneek out of church today before anyone could talk to me but then again, no one was chasing me down to talk to anyway. LOL

But like I said at the beginning, it felt good to be back at church and i am glad I went. I hope and will continue to pray that God will help me to get back into a routine of regularly going and hopefully be able to talk Cameron in to going too. Anyway now that I have bored everyone with my babbling I am going to go spend some time with Brad and the boys before I have to go to work for a couple hours. I hope that everyone's week goes well and that God will bless each of you. And while I most likely will not be going to church next sunday since it's Brad's 30th birthday I do plan on going the following sunday.

P.S. Denaye, do you know if they are doing a women's retreat this year? I really enjoyed the one i attended and would love to go again. SO please let me know if you know anything. Thank you.

Prayer Request

We are in need of some big prayers. We will have to move by the end of June into a place of our own. We are pretty sure we will be finding an apartment when the time comes which isn't a problem. I don't mind living in an apartment. The problem comes with the fact that Brad is still not back to work yet and we cannot come up with deposit money without him working. So please pray that something starts happening with the union and that he can get back to work. We have no choice but to move in June and at this point it seems as though we will be moving into the van if something doesn't happen. =) So please pray for us.

Prayer Request

So like so many times before, I am asking for as many people to pray for us as I can get. Brad is being laid off at the end of today and right now there are no local union jobs taking on workers. So this layoff may be for several weeks. We are going to be WAY short on the money we need for bills and I am scared. I am not sure what we are going to do. SO please pray that God will get us through and give us the financial help we need to get by until Brad can get on another job site. I know you are probably tired of me writing the same prayer request every few months and trust me i am tired of the recurrent stress. But it is what it is and all I can do is pray and ask for my friends to pray for us too. I would appreciate all the prayers we can get. Thank you!

Ethan's appointment(s)

So over the past 4-5months Ethan has been getting progressively worse at choking on food. It used to be once every 2 or so weeks and then it got to about once every week in a half and down to once a week and this last week he choked twice. So Saturday we took him in to see Dr. Eisert and see what he thought of it all. He talked to us a while and checked Ethan out and then decided that it may be one of a few things or a combination. So we are treating him with Zantac for acid reflux which may be irritating his esophagus. It may be something like a lesion in his throat or abnormal epiglottis (the flap that covers the wind pipe) or something like that also so Monday I have to call and they are going to schedule him for an upper GI scope to take a look at things and see if there is anything causing this.

It scares me so bad and to see him panic and gasp for breath just breaks my heart. So please pray for us that we can get this scope done soon as he choked again today and I don't think I can handle much more of it. Also pray that the scope goes smoothly and quickly...in my mind it's as bad as him having surgery...it scares me just the same anyway. Please also pray that we can find what the problem is and treat it. (Preferably with something else other than Zantac syrup....It smells horrific and tastes just as bad. We have been mixing it with chocolate milk but he has to have it twice a day and that's a lot of chocolate milk. =) ) Thank you for your thoughts and prayers and I will keep everyone posted.

Prayer Request

We are heading to Malo this afternoon and would like everyone to pray that we have a safe trip there and back on Monday. We will most likely encounter snow as we are going up in elevation and over Wauconda Pass. ( I don't know exact elevation.) So please pray for us to have good roads and that all the psychotic critters stay far away from the highways.

I hope my scrapbook pals have a terrific Scrapbook Saturday and I sure hope you miss me or at least pretend to.=) Anyway gotta go get Cameron and get back and finish getting the house cleaned up so we can leave. I have everything packed so now it's just cleaning house so it's acceptable when we get back. Love to all and will post when we get back.